My favourite Mr. Man is Mr. Rush. It has always been this way, so I put it down to the 'birds of a feather flock together' theory: I see in him a nose similar to if not larger than my own and am therefore drawn towards him as my equal. The one major problem with this affinity, however, is that he is lilac, and that is the one colour I really really despise. What is its purpose?! It's not grey, it's not purple - it's just a limp shade of complete apathy that instantly makes everything look less appealing. Poor Mr. Rush, not only is his entire body a nose, but it is also the colour of damp cardboard mixed with my grandma's hand cream. HOWEVER, if one looks past these superficial problems, Mr. Rush is actually in possession of the best ever quality for this time of year: getting on with stuff.

I will therefore zoom on to the speedy recipe of today that will not gauge a chunk out of your revision (if you're in some kind of education) / partying (if you've just finished some kind of education) / daily life (if you are neither a student nor an ex-student), Pasta à la Lazy Gregson:

Spaghetti or other variant of pasta in a quick easy to open packet

2 sausages (either veggie or real) ready defrosted for quick cooking

1 red pepper quickly plucked from a nearby tree

tomato ketchup stored in a nearby cupboard for quick fetching

harissa paste in a jar with the lid already unscrewed for quick use

tomato puree same as above, except replace the word 'jar' with tube, as this is the more likely form of container

honey with a quick eazy squeezy function bottle

olive oil in a bottle with a wide enough mouth that allows quick pouring

1) Put the water on to boil at lightening speed

2) In a frying pan, fry the sausages and pepper in a bit of olive oil at cheetah speed

3) Put the pasta in the water at concord speed

4) Dollop in some harissa paste, some ketchup, some purée and some honey to the sausage and pep mix at rollercoaster speed

5) Combine everything in a medium sized bowl and eat at high speed at lightening speed again

I would recommend not eating this at such pace, however, as indigestion can be an unpleasant thing and might ruin the next few minutes you are going to spend rapidly listening and reading the following: Salaam by K'naan, which clocks in at 26 seconds long. Once again, it's eerie, which seems to be an emerging trend in my tracks of choice, however at 43.3% of a minute you are unlikely to be entirely freaked out.

For a zippy (seriously running out of fast words here) read, Welcome to Our Hillbrow by Phaswane Mpe has it all - it took me about 3 hours to read cover to cover and is so tightly packed with comment that you will feel as if you have devoured a 1000 page epic...a bit like one of those dried out compacted flannels Father Christmas used to pop in the stocking that expands and becomes a lovely jungle scene when wet. You probably wouldn't want an image of Welcome to Our Hillbrow on your flannel, however, as it centres around the problem of HIV and apartheid, but it is so sensitively dealt with that it's not a confrontational read by any means.

I was so Mr. Rushed when I created this ensemble that the spaghetti was insufficiently drained, but thankfully Mpe had bored even this in mind and laminated her cover so no books were harmed in the process: